Incompletion

I went to help my aunt and uncle pick curtains for the house yesterday. Fab India – with all its frills at the price tags… I mean this is what I call business…hire the rural handicraft artists and weavers…get them to make all the fancy stuff…sort them in the assorted ranges and then quote the price ten times over if not more. And pay the poor workers one hundredth of the profit.
Yet…I was there, looking at the beautiful curtains…trying to mix and match and get my aesthetic sense on a roll… peacock blue with gold work against a beige-gold printed one… blue and white printed one against a plain white basic looking curtain…and other combinations that we made from the “sheer” section – you know the kind where it is semi-transparent…so that the sun-rays just about come and kiss your feet in the morning and the light at dawn just about sneaks in and stealthily wraps itself around you.

Which reminds me I am right now wallowing in sheer boredom. Its amazing how one word has so many meanings. Sheer curtains. Sheer boredom. Sheer joy.
Back to the curtains – and I don’t know anymore, why I started writing about them in the first place.
‘Snow hey oh’ is playing in my ears right now. RHCP. There is nothing to do at office. My boss is missing. Ah well, its my dramatic way of saying that he didn’t come to office today. Considering what monotony rules my life right now, I am making everything and anything seem of proportional heights…it is called making a mock epic out of one of the chapters of my very normal mortally-limited life.

Song changed to ‘Across the Universe’…did I mention how much I like this song?...let me elucidate - or actually…just read the lyrics if you wish to… or scroll down if not.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass,
they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind,
Possessing and caressing me.

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
That call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they
Tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing
Through my open mind inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like amillion suns,
it calls me on and on
Across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva


- Song ends –
Another song starts – but now I am distracted. I am wondering when can I get out of the office and when I can meet Kartik.
Now let me tell you who he is. He is my adopted sibling. I am the damned eldest one in the family…no cousin is older and no one my age… in solitude of my aged self, I have grown up, always being prodded to set an example for the “kids”…for gods sake… I like being human… I like being lazy and sleeping all day too, I like my beer outings, I like lying in a hammock all day with a book, I like going to crowded, crazy concerts…I like being wonderfully flawed and fun… I don’t want to be an example… if they need an example, they can go look at the autobiography of Gandhi or something… I can hardly be a good mould for any of those children to melt and set into.
So back to Kartik and why I wish to meet him today and have a nice chatty dinner time together…I need to talk…I need to figure out some things in my head and he helps me do just that…and with an amazing amount of patience… I need to know if where I am right now is the right place to be…I need to be sure of what I am doing and if my decisions are, in any way, going to affect other close ones.
Messed up I am….messed up is my head… and I am so bored right now… and I have a book…but I am being greedy…and only a few pages are left that I want to finish in the train…it is a train read and it started that way and it shall end that way.

And I suddenly realised that I started talking about the shopping spree and never ended that… It feels like such an incomplete piece….this random scribbling…but then again… I don’t know why I started talking about it in the first place so now I won’t bother to go back to it… let it be incomplete…like most of us are anyway. And in this utterly incomplete sense of being…I shall stop writing now. Full stop? Comma! Ellipses? Whatever.