Not So Subtle

I know the season is changing since it started getting darker than usual when I leave work. Other than that Mumbai doesn't really have a palpable sudden shift of weather – like in Delhi one fine day the night seems chilly & the morning seems refreshing, nothing of the kind happens here. The heat slowly wanes – so slowly I don't notice it. I never notice differences too subtle – like the different shades of greens in microsoft excel, like a haircut on a man, like a new plant potted in my society. I notice however if the angle of my vase is changed, or the face that the lampshade faces has been turned, or the tiny pimple bubbling under my eyebrow & the smell of the over-toasted garam masala. I guess I am selectively observant. As are most of us.

So anyway, no blogging has happened because I think my blog has died. Every attempt to resurrect it has been dismal & only triggered by a single post with no following ones. Perhaps because nothing of significant importance has happened that can be written about. I have started work & am in the process of starting my own home-made chocolate business from home. So training, research & plans have taken up weekends, new chilled our work where I churn out content for a start-up company has taken up weekdays, family visits have taken up festival holidays & its been a normal yet joyous phase. Is this what they call settling down? Is this the definition of stability? I don't know. Yet I like whatever this is called.

One post that I make each year on the blog as tradition has been for Diwali – my cathartic festival with significant change of circumstance or heart. Every year since the past few has brought with it a new chapter and closed an old one. Some have memories of quiet, solemn, peaceful diya-filled nights, some are insanely bursting at its seam with energy, dancing through the night & sparkly skies. But all have memories of my entire family together and that has been consistent. This time the family had a brand new member – M, who has magically hypnotized my folks into loving him like a son & struck a camaraderie with my brother into sharing all beer & sutta secrets with him. So the relatively larger family was together for my first diwali at my own house. Diyas, rangolis, kebabs, mirchi lights, laxmi pooja, phuljhadi amongst other things made this diwali quite regular yet not. It was somehow a very special Diwali – maybe one of the most special festivals ever & one of the more memorable nights in this house.

Did I mention we shifted in a spanking new house in a lovely locality where everything is a phone call & a 5 minute drive away and where I actually have 4 big balconies – to sit & have tea, to learn yoga, to lounge with friends and to string with lights & lamps! Did I also mention that we will be leaving Mumbai for newer lands soon? I don't know where though but as my stay in Mumbai is coming to an end, I am falling more & more in love with the city. Do I even want to go to another? I don't know – but change is refreshing, change is what keeps one occupied. Plus lots of my friends seem to be leaving Mumbai together. One left for the US, another sets sail for the UK. These were dear friends – my chick friend cum shopping partner decided to make more money and ran away, my favourite guy friend & easily the longest conversation holder needs to go set up some office in firang lands. Its a sad brain-draining world if you ask me.

I admit today that I would prefer to maybe stay in Mumbai over any other place – stay though, not settle mind you – I'm still very north indian at heart, still very much in love with my mughlai cuisine with non-sweet green chutney & a forever-hater of vada pavs! But for now, Mumbai seems to appeal to me. And then again its the comfort level that I get into I guess. I am used to my house,my househelp, my facilities, my supermarket, the disciplined lane driving, the warm people & the gorgeous monsoons and I have always been resistant to change so I can't say, maybe shifting to another place will be a better experience.

I would like Delhi very much. But I will not pin my hopes on any city this time, especially that one. I seem to invariably jinx it like I have three times in the past – I wanted to intern there & it didn't happen, I took my first job there and within a month I had to move, I was almost going to go there after marriage and M got a stint a Mumbai. So this time I will be open in my head to any city & let fate take its course. Delhi would be nice though – the comfort of familiarity, of localities & friends, of home being 9 hours away, of Miss P's house being a drive away instead of a flight. But anything can happen & I will not hope this time.

Though I will look forward to the not-so-subtle change of weather in Delhi and the lovely transition from autumn to winter that is as obvious as the kitchen that my mother just rearranged!