I Do Love Home

I do love home. Yes I do…inspite of all the arguments and the fights and all the tans of anger and the verbal splats…I still love home.
I leave dayafter – not for college, not for comfortable cash inflow from dad…but for work, new life and my own money. Wow… I might as well say goodbye to all my big chill indulgences, the Loreals and the Benettons… I will be amongst the “less-fortunate” ones. *looooooong dramatic sigh*

What a silly song is on…It must’ve been love by Roxette. Ah…and I am being silly and relating to it. “But it’s over now…..” – I wonder, is it? I mean I am not that emotional anymore when it comes to him…that weak or stupid for that matter. So much thinking seems to, for a change, do me some good. What use is the term “moving on” if you cant apply it? Distance makes the heart grow fonder? Or out of sight, out of mind? Pix says it is the second syndrome where he is concerned. I wonder now, is it true? Yesterday a mail from him hit my inbox and I was taken aback… I think that’s because I have truly stopped expecting anything from him. He is married to work, he says. Then how can I even expect him to stray with me? *grin*

Oh and I was thinking of that corny movie “My best friends wedding” yesterday. I admit, sheepishly though, that I like that film very much. It’s such good time pass. The karaoke segment is my favourite…I think that’s when I started liking that song by Nicky Holland, “I just don’t know what to do with myself”…oh wait, let me just find it on my winamp.
Ah yes, it’s playing now…and I am swaying happily. And voila…I switch to Moby and feel all swingy and floaty… I miss the weed-ed wonders of life… ah college life and other such sinful nights…!
Music is so amazing. It makes me feel better about almost anything.

-Phone call-

Ah it was my 2nd brother from college, the lovesick heartbroken C.J. Just finished giving him a whole lecture about moving on and staying away from what and who makes you upset. Felt so mature. Made me think about my own personal problems… have I applied it in my life…can I really?
I haven’t been upset where the man in question is concerned in a long time now. No more am I harping on the fact that I want to wait and be with him. His commitment phobia has finally put me off so much that I’d rather also just be friends now than keep trying to make him realise what we had. I mean if he can’t see it, he must be blind and I am tired of trying. Such hopelessness makes me resign myself to hopelessness. But I am really proud of myself and that I am capable of getting okay! Yay delhi here I come…!!

-Loo break-

Ya okay…I don’t feel like typing anymore. I am bored and I don’t feel like rambling on anymore. I will try sneak out the car for a drive now. I will grab some fruits for lunch. I will send my clothes for ironing. I will go for a walk. I will miss home. Oh yes I will. I do love home.