Caricature Workout

Someone called me a pretty cartoon. That is mostly because, if you have seen me, I have a big head compared to the rest of my body. So in effect, if one looks at me carefully I look pretty much like a caricature – big head, big eyes, big mouth – well, let’s say I am a caricature artist’s ideal subject. And all this started when I announced that I am going to lose weight and then I was told that in that case my body would become thinner and I would look more comical than I do now. Hmm. And so much for thinking that I was sexy and all that crap. Ah well. Sigh.

So anyway, I have decided to join a gym – for which I had gone shopping today. All this is done with the sole intention of motivating me enough to lose weight – you know how it goes…if I spend so much money on getting my goodies together for gym-ing, I will be guilt ridden enough to wake up in the morning and run to the gym – paisa vasool you see – and considering how broke I am right now, spending oodles of cash on the membership and the accessories is a big thing for me. And tomorrow I am going to buy myself a set of three ankle length socks and then draw out a cheque of almost one third of my salary towards the bi-annual gym fee. I have instructed my parents to courier me my running shoes all the way from North India for this very noble and healthy cause of mine. This is quite an event in my life.

You see, this is bigger than you think it is. I am essentially an owl by nature. I love keeping up till ungodly hours of the night and hearing the crickets sing, I read a few chapters out of some book or write some unstructured poetry, I watch an obscure film or I catch up with other nocturnal friends on the phone, I love the silence of the night and I love the sound of my voice in the silence – for me night time is my time – so consequently, I find it terribly difficult to crawl out of bed in the morning…grudgingly I open my eyelids to the morning light at 9 am and run out of the house with a sandwich in my hand at 10…such is my habit, such is my routine. So for me to take an initiative to even think about waking up at 7 for gym every morning is very very very big!

But I am determined. And I have gone and asked them how much will it cost, I have taken the pain and effort to walk into that fitness space (in which me and my flabby self feels totally out of place) and ask for the fitness instructor (who by the way is totally hot and totally indifferent)….I have figured out which membership plan I want, I have decided what time slot will suit me and will make me (hopefully) a healthier and thinner person. I seem to be so obsessed with the idea of losing weight. Part of me blames the goddamn tiny anorexic-designed dresses that are sold at Peddar road that come in from Bangkok, part of me blames the very looks oriented society we live in, part of me blames the fact that I am not fighting the system but falling into it and yet part of me blames the indifference in which I am letting myself bloat up.

Am I fat? Am I thin? Am I fit? More importantly, am I happy? And if losing a couple of kgs would make me happier then I suppose this is a good new year’s gift to give oneself. All I am hoping is that there is weight loss all over and that I don’t end up looking like a bigger caricature – or if a caricature must I be, then let me atleast be a pretty caricature.

With this hopeful note, I pen down my new years fitness resolution and validate my coupon to happiness.

*huff puff*