Incompletion

Suddenly I don’t like Mumbai. Everything that was getting eventually endearing about this place seems to have slowly faded. Life at the local train stations don’t interest me anymore. There is no more a wide-eyed wonder about the expanse of the sea. No more do I venture out to Colaba to shop on my own. Streets remind me of my friends who came and went – the places I haunted with them – Bottles of beer at Mondy’s, burnt fish at Martins, huge amounts of prawn fry at Leopolds, a walk staring at the large mansions at Bandstand, a stroll along Marine Drive – Mumbai has lost its charm – no more do I wish to stay here.

Ips went away – a stable rock solid support was gone. Jai flew off – my school mate was gone. Pix left – my best friend and most comforting factor disappeared. Ktik followed – confidential talks and random dinners flew out of the window. Niv was next in line – my favourite critic and darling friend also went. I feel so voided of late.

I cross Dadar and remember the catering college and Hard Rock. I go to the stations and imagine the tall banana-chappaled woman making her way through the crowd. I visit the book shop at Causeway and remember going there to find research books for Ips’ Phd. I cross Chembur and the days I spent with Adi comes back to me. I see a Subway and remember the two mad sub-lovers.

Very important parts of my life have left. Mumbai was a lot of what it was because of them. Each one brought me joy in a very special way. Suddenly I feel very very lonely. I don’t know if I want to stay here anymore. Suddenly there is nothing much to look forward to. And I am a “social butterfly”, aren’t I? Then how come I find it terribly difficult to make new friends?

I have a comfort zone. Part of that zone came to Mumbai, made it beautiful and left. Suddenly this city is as hollow as it once was. And I am as incomplete.